Close to God, Close to Your Spouse – Learning to Listen

The sermon opens by affirming the deep human need to be heard and understood. Through the classical Chinese story of Bá Nha and Tử Kỳ — illustrating the concept of a 'soulmate who truly understands' — the pastor shows that without genuine listening, true empathy is impossible. In all relationships, especially marriage, listening is an indispensable condition for spouses to truly understand each other.

The pastor draws on James 1:19 to call the congregation to be 'quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.' He observes that people typically do the opposite — quick to speak, slow to listen, and quick to anger — and that this is one of the fastest ways to destroy marital happiness. He also notes that the Bible refers to listening over 1,300 times, more than references to speaking, and that the human body was created by God with two ears but only one mouth, reflecting a design that prioritizes listening.

Through practical examples — a husband who ignores his wife's warnings about internet stocks and loses their life savings, and a dialogue between spouses that escalates from a comment about housekeeping to a full argument — the pastor illustrates the real consequences of not listening. He also distinguishes between 'hearing' (receiving sound) and 'listening' (attentively understanding), emphasizing that genuine listening requires intentional focus and attention.

The sermon provides practical guidance on learning to listen: repeating back what one's spouse said through clarifying questions, showing respect for one's partner, and avoiding two extremes — fake agreement followed by resentment, or immediately correcting the other person. The pastor quotes Proverbs 18:2 to warn that a fool only wants to express his own opinion rather than listen to understand. The illustration of a boy who found a watch in an icehouse by lying still and listening quietly is used to remind listeners of the need for stillness in order to hear God's voice.

The sermon closes with a dual message: listening to God and listening to one's spouse are both practices that require training and discipline. Just as tuning a radio requires focusing on one station, truly listening to a husband or wife demands setting aside distractions to give full attention. This is how love and respect are expressed, and it is the path toward closeness with both God and one's spouse.