Silence, Prayer, and Action

# Be Silent, Pray, and Act

About two years after her beloved husband was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer, Alisyn's husband passed away at the end of July. During this time, she felt deeply confused, easily saddened, and struggled to maintain peace in her heart when friends and loved ones came to offer comfort. But after some time, she shared and talked with several people who had also fallen into suffering like hers, and she was surprised to discover that there are certain things one should not say when visiting families in distress, grief, or facing terminal illness. First, we should not greet them by asking, "How are you?" Second, we should not ask, "What can I do for you?" Third, we should not say, "I cannot imagine what you must be going through right now." Fourth, we should not say, "This is so unfair to you!" These are a few things we should avoid saying when visiting people facing difficulties and sorrow, such as those in mourning or terminal illness.(1)

Indeed, in daily conversation, words truly affect the listener, whether greatly or slightly depends on the timing, attitude, and manner of our speech. In circumstances of utmost suffering, it becomes even more difficult to speak, and sometimes silence and action alone prove better than any words of comfort!

In fact, in Scripture, we know that Job was perhaps the person who faced calamities and trials more than anyone else! In the midst of terrible suffering, having lost everything and bearing painful boils upon his body, four of his friends came to advise him. They believed he must have committed some great sin, so much so that God had afflicted him with such anguish and misery. His four friends took turns responding to Job, all with the aim of persuading him that he needed to repent and confess his sins to God. They spoke far too much, spoke wrongly about the reasons for Job's calamities, and they failed to understand his state of mind at that moment. The more they tried to convince Job, the more confused and distressed he became, until he cried out to them: "...please, keep silent, leave me alone, that I may speak, though after I speak, let calamity come upon me" (Job 13:13).

We truly do not know clearly what causes suffering, nor can we understand all that is happening within the mind of one facing calamity. But we know that all things are within God's purpose, and He allows them to happen according to His perfect plan. Sorrow, trials, calamities—things we do not wish for—may happen for a reason. There is nothing unjust in God's will. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).

When visiting those facing calamity, illness, or grief, we can remain silent if we do not know what to say. Silence to listen as the suffering person pours out their heart, and we can pray for them to soon overcome this great trial and difficulty. "Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray" (James 5:13a). Our visiting them is already a comfort to them, so we need not speak much. Besides this, we can bring bread or a prepared meal to their family, for during times of suffering, they cannot care for themselves as they do on ordinary days. Furthermore, we can write letters or send condolence cards expressing our sympathy and compassion during this time, and we can include words of prayer in our letters and cards. Later, when they open and read these letters and cards, they will surely feel lighter, knowing that friends in Christ care for and love them. The Apostle Paul was one who often wrote letters to churches, fellow workers, and believers whom he had witnessed to. His purpose in writing was to support, comfort, and encourage them to continue serving God and to keep their faith firm amid life's trials. He also expressed his heart toward them, saying: "For I wrote to you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you" (2 Corinthians 2:4). When love for brothers and sisters in Christ overflows abundantly, even amid great trials, we will overcome together in God's care! May the Holy Spirit teach us what words to speak, when to speak them, and how to speak with grace that benefits the hearer, especially those brothers and sisters in utmost suffering; may He guide us to know what to do to help them—to pray, to write letters, or to bring food—so that our concern may ease their suffering somewhat and help them rise up through His almighty strength! Thank you, Lord! Amen!

My heart draws near to You, Father, Asking that You would comfort and soothe my aching soul, Asking that You would help and comfort, Grant peace and trust in Your name, Asking that You would strengthen us each day, Heal our illnesses and transform our hearts, May our brothers and sisters be well, Looking toward the shining Mount Zion! May Your love, Lord, last forever, A thousand years covering our lives, The world will fade away, But a heart with You is more precious than all things!

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